Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
