guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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