And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize