We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
