I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
