When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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