Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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