This girl is more easily done than said...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
