I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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