Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
don't judge my taste in strippers
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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