i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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