I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
