the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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