My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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