I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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