I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So vagazzling was a success
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
