drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
3 2 1 whiskey
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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