Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
