I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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