My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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