I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
