i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
