i barfeds in our rink
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
