I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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