the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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