when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
