what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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