I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Michael Bay diarrhea
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
