I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
