How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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