You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
