the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
