is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
