whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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