OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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