dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
