dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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