i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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