I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this beer tastes like vomit already
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
