I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
