who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
