My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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