Umm I'm too high to move.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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