i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
