the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
