i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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