I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
