no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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