She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
