What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
