sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
