I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
