hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
