stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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