There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
