you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
