Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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