a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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